My Journey... Sucker-punched!

3/15 Sucker-punched!

I know this journey will have its peaks and valleys, but that knowledge does not prepare you, ever!


I asked my husband to call the surgeon for the results of the MRI. I thought I was prepared and fully armed to handle whatever is thrown my way - but I was so wrong!! I felt sucker-punched as he told me his conversation with the surgeon.

I stood frozen in our bedroom with my son right next door. I needed to just weep, but I couldn't. My son is on a "need to know basis" and he is already really suspicious of what has been whirling around him.

I truly believe that there is a time when you should just drop to the ground and have a good long crying fest. (Drop yourself up against a wall, then slowly melt to the ground.) :) Let God know how you really truly feel, if you know what that is, sometimes I know I am frustrated but I can't put it into words. Just pour out your soul to Him, no pretense, no cover-ups, just be true. He gets it, He gets you.... In your distress, He is distress. Before you melt down, He already knew you were going to melt down. Psalm 139:4 - "Before a word is on my tongue, you, Lord know it completely." So go for it and give it all you've got.

Unfortunately, I could not have my melt down moment. A friend and I were joking that maybe I should schedule a time for my melt down... Not a bad idea at all. But then, it is hard to re-create the intensity of the moment - I'm thinking waking up at 4 in the morning, finding a wall, drop myself up against it and then try to cry is not going to be as dramatic as the actual moment. :) (Are you picture this?) hehehe... Anyway...

My quick, step one, in and out, is not going to be. My surgery will be more extensive that I had hoped. My resolve remains the same. I know I am healed - there is no doubt in my mind of the promises that God has given me - given all of us. Over 2000 years ago, Jesus bore our diseases when He was hung on the cross - and the Word says, that "By His stripes we ARE healed." It is a done deal, we don't have to ask God to heal us, we just have to receive it.

So now what?

March 17 (never finished)

I did wake up at 4 in the morning, and instead of a meltdown, I got the urge to call my mom. Thank God for praying moms (and dads). As we started to talk while I peruse my email, the very first email was a devotion with this scripture:

Luke 10:19

Behold, I give you the AUTHORITY to trample on serpents and scorpions, and OVER ALL the power of the enemy, and NOTHING shall by any means hurt you.

HA!

I shared it with my mom and we started praising God for His Word - for His promise - for His faithfulness! I mean seriously, could I have found a better scripture on my own to re-assure me of who I am in Christ?!? I have the authority over all the power of the enemy!

Needless to say, my mom and I did some trampling on the enemy's head through prayer and we had a good laugh after that.

So go ahead and do some  trampling yourself - the enemy is a liar. He will come and put things in your head that are not true - he wants to kill, steal and destroy. That is his M.O. So he will put negative thoughts in your head and make you feel worthless, not-good-enough, not strong enough, and undeserving. He will make you feel weak and nervous, keep you up at night wondering all the "what-ifs," "if only...", "I'm not as popular," "they like so and so better..." If he can keep you imprisoned by those thoughts, then he can weaken you and the cycle just keeps going.

You are VICTORIOUS! You have been given authority over all the power of the enemy. This is what Christ did for you. Your job? Simple - Receive!

Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Aloha!

Me